Ease Matters: Four Principles for Coaching Teams

Heather Berthoud • July 8, 2026

The hardest part of coaching teams is remembering that it doesn’t have to be hard. I’m not responsible for fixing, saving, making sure they do something they’ve never done before, or having the epiphany that unlocks all confusions. No cape needed. No magic elixir. Not even a gentle prod to corral them back to their agreed upon agenda. More difficult and easier than all of that is the relaxed attention that allows me to see them as they are.

 

Four principles guide my work: seeing systems, stating what is so, appreciation, and the paradoxical theory of change.

 

Seeing Systems 

First, they are a system. The group works as it does because of what all the parts are doing in relationship with each other. Rather than blaming the leader for the dysfunction of the group or seeing someone as the recalcitrant obstacle to the group’s effectiveness, I can soften my gaze and see them as working in concert to create the dynamic I am witnessing.

 

They are a whole. Each contributes to the way the team works. If one is chronically late or misses deadlines, the others allow it or make excuses. If two are in regular conflict, the remainder willingly, perhaps unwittingly, act in relief or superiority that they are not the ones in conflict, even if they quietly take a side. A system has no sides. Rather it is a vibrant expression of its parts in motion. Just as I cannot enjoy the car’s accelerator without also appreciating the brake, it makes no sense to prefer only part of a team.

 

Not easy, but so useful, to remember that each person is contributing to the whole. And that the entire team is what I am supporting. The language of wholes helps me – the team is…, together the group does…. I also find metaphor useful, as in, I see this group as a rocket working hard to escape the gravitational pull of the old habits towards a new way of working. Or simple descriptors for the group, e.g., polite, measured, lively, loud, focused on productivity, etc.

 

Stating What Is So.

If this seems too simple, I come to my second love and helper, phenomenology. Oh, the big words! It just means seeing what is right here. Naming what is in front of me, what I witness the group doing and sometimes the experience I have of the group. When I tell a group that I experience them as polite or fast paced I am inviting them into a reflection of whether that is true for them, whether they like it, when and how it serves their purpose. They may not identify with the term at all and instead claim something more to their liking – they see themselves as methodical or considerate or efficient. All good. They reflect on an aspect of their experience and then can choose whether they want to keep it or change it, by a little or a lot.

 

Appreciation

My next helper, the power of appreciation, is an essential partner, especially to naming what I see. Most groups in coaching are both vulnerable and defensive. They have asked me in because they believe something is not working, yet they are effective to the extent they are. How dare an interloper hurl judgment without the benefit of having walked with them? Seeing their behaviors as adaptive habits that allow them to act on their priorities is essential. I have seen repeatedly how teams are happy to be recognized for what they know is their excellence. Their defensiveness drops a little. They look at each other sometimes with sheepish pride. Yes, we do that, don’t we? Or with relish, That’s right, we’re good at it. To be seen for what is not common across teams feels good. Sometimes, they blow by it, yeah, but what about what we don’t do so well? Which is an opportunity to linger until the noticing sinks in and they can own the utility of their habit.

 

The Paradoxical Theory of Change 

This brings me to the magic of this approach, the paradoxical theory of change. People and groups don’t change by trying to be other than they are but by acknowledging and fully accepting what they are already doing and being.

 

Rather than push away the politeness or the speed or the brusqueness or disorder or ruthless efficiency or any other habit of work that has its limits, teams can explore how they already are, how it serves them, what choices they’ve made and why. They will come to know viscerally and collectively, that any way of working or being has utility and limits. With appreciation for what works they are no longer fighting themselves. Instead, they can then choose an option that expands their practice repertoire rather than self-flagellation for how they are inadequate. The shift in attitudinal orientation means they change from working against themselves to expanding into a natural next. Ease matters.

 

All of this is remarkably simple but not easy. As a coach and facilitator, I remind myself that I am not there to fix, to make them or me different from what we already are. Rather, through appreciating them as a system already doing easily recognizable and effective actions, they take that perspective on themselves and more readily open to additional ways of working.

Polarities and the Paradoxical Theory of Change: A Powerful Duet

By Diane Shannon, MD, MPH, PCC • May 5, 2026
Eric (not his real name) engaged me as a coach because he was struggling with self-doubt, fueled by self-criticism. In his 40s, he was watching work colleagues with less experience expressing themselves with confidence, while he felt self-conscious when sharing his ideas or kept mute. He felt he “didn’t deserve a seat at the table.” In one of our first sessions, he shared an experience from the prior weekend, when a group of friends and their partners gathered at his home. He described one guest as “boastful and annoying,” but respected the man’s ability to state his opinions boldly. From my perspective, Eric was not typical of my clients in terms of industry or gender. Most of my clients are women physicians struggling with job burnout. But I trusted that my training as a Gestalt coach at GISC gave me the skills and competence to coach clients outside my usual niche effectively.

The GISC Ripple Effect

By lfitzpatrick • December 5, 2025
Dear Friends, Thank you for your ongoing support of GISC and for being an essential part of our global learning community. Each year, I’m reminded that GISC thrives because of the people who believe in our mission and commit themselves to creating a better world. Those who know GISC know what powerful catalysts self-awareness, personal growth, and embodying a Gestalt approach can be for creating positive change. This past year, we settled into our downtown Boston offices at the Nonprofit Center—a building dedicated to nonprofit advancement and social change. It is a fitting home for GISC, reflecting the values, vibrancy, and connection essential to our own mission:

Introducing an exciting new series for leaders: Presence, Use of Self, and the Keys to Authentic Leadership

August 19, 2025
An Interview with GISC's Co-Directors of Leadership Development

An Interview with Cape Cod Training Program Faculty

July 2, 2025
This fall, GISC’s renowned Cape Cod Training Program (CCTP) returns to Europe, bringing its powerful learning model to London. Here, faculty members Joe Melnick and Lucy Ball reflect on what makes the Cape Cod Model so impactful and the program so enduring after more than four decades of practice.

A Message from GISC's Board Chair

By Roderick Allen, PCC • May 30, 2025
 Dear GISC Faculty, Staff, and Members, I am deeply honored to have been asked to lead the GISC Board as the new Chair. GISC is an organization that has profoundly shaped my personal and professional growth, and I know it has done the same for many of you. I am filled with energy and optimism about the future of GISC. We have an incredible opportunity ahead of us to evolve our programs, broaden our reach, and foster a more diverse and inclusive environment for both faculty and participants. As we move forward, we must also recognize the unique position GISC holds in today’s world. At a time when humanity and community face unprecedented challenges, we have the opportunity to stand as a beacon of hope and resilience. Our values of connection, empathy, and seeking common ground are more important than ever. By bringing our unique approach to communities and organizations dedicated to social justice and leadership, we can make a significant impact. The board has the responsibility of supporting CEO Laurie Fitzpatrick in achieving ambitious goals aligned with GISC’s mission. We must also work to enhance GISC’s presence, attract partners and resources to ensure sustainability and growth, and uphold the highest standards of legal, ethical, and financial integrity. I am excited to embark on this journey alongside the board, Laurie, staff, and faculty and look forward to what we will accomplish together. Warm regards, Rod -- Roderick Allen Chair, GISC Board of Directors Principal, Cipher Consultants (917)455-8994 LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/roderick-allen/

Building a Brighter Future Together: Highlights and Hopes for GISC

By lfitzpatrick • December 18, 2024
Dear Friends, Thank you for your ongoing support of GISC and for being such a vital part of our global learning community. Together, we’ve continued to build on the transformative work that has defined GISC for decades. I’m excited to share some highlights of the past year and invite you to join us in shaping our next chapter. After more than 20 years in Wellfleet, we’ve embraced a new home in downtown Boston. Our new offices are located in a vibrant building dedicated to nonprofit advancement and social change, a perfect reflection of GISC’s mission to foster meaningful growth in the individuals and organizations we serve. While we will always cherish our Cape Cod roots, this move enhances our ability to connect with a broader community and expand our impact in new and exciting ways. GISC remains the place that brings diverse individuals together, in community, over time, for deep transformative learning. These shared experiences enable participants to multiply their impact for larger systems change. This year, our mission came to life with participants from 25 countries across all continents joining our online and in-person programs—an increase from prior years and a powerful testament to the global relevance of our work. In November, our faculty gathered for a three-day retreat, which deepened our sense of connection and reaffirmed GISC’s dedication to diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. This retreat will allow us to better foster a sense of belonging in our programs, continue to develop our theory, and align our Gestalt approach with the principles of inclusivity and shared growth. We’ve expanded our program offerings to include new open-enrollment and customized trainings for organizations, addressing critical topics such as psychological safety and inclusive leadership. And we continue to develop new programs to meet the needs of today’s leaders and professionals. In 2024, we launched a free monthly series for psychotherapists, Conversations with Clinicians: Life and Practice through a Gestalt Lens, enriching our commitment to the therapeutic community. Board member Shanaaz Majiet from Cape Town, South Africa, captured the heart of GISC’s work when she shared, “I believe our GISC mission has new relevance in an era of relationships for a better world.” Indeed, the relationships we cultivate and the communities we build are at the heart of everything we do—and it is your passion, support, and dedication that make it all possible.

Coaching Inclusively with a Focus on Race: What does it take?

By Hortensia Hinds, GISC Certified Coach • September 24, 2024
When most coaches and clients think about coaching work, they see it as void of racism, sexism, sexual orientation, ableism, bias and intersectionality to name only a few experiences. They may also ignore the presence of these lifelong experiences in a coachee or themselves. As John Leary-Joyce the author of The Fertile Void: Gestalt Coaching at Work, states,

A new vision for our future

By lfitzpatrick • December 19, 2023
Dear Friends, Thank you for your ongoing support of GISC and for being such a vital part of who we are as a global learning community. This year, I have some important and exciting news to share. For many months, the GISC Board of Directors and I have worked together to develop a strategic vision to take GISC into the future. Our aim is for GISC to be the place that brings diverse individuals together, in community, online and in accessible in-person environments, for meaningful, transformative learning, so they can multiply their impact for larger systems change. We know this is achieved through relevant programming, experiences that are deep and build mastery over time, a focus on diversity, inclusion, and belonging – and by continuing to evolve as an organization. To this end, last month, the board made the strategic decision to put the Nevis Meetinghouse in Wellfleet up for sale and move our center of operations to Boston, Massachusetts. After the trials of Covid and the societal shifts we’ve seen since, it’s become clear that our greatest opportunities lie off-Cape, online, and in new places in the US and abroad. Making this decision is the best way we know to honor the legacy of our founders, Edwin and Sonia Nevis, and expand our important mission. While the building in Wellfleet has been a cherished physical home to many of us, it’s been the profound insights and lifelong relationships created there and elsewhere that are the most valuable treasure we share. Together, over many years, we’ve formed and re-formed community to hold our greatest hopes and aspirations as humans and professionals. “The Center” is indeed a community – it is you, our participants, members, supporters, faculty, and friends – not a physical space. This change will allow for greater accessibility and open up new opportunities for collaboration and partnerships in education, healthcare, and the helping professions. It will better enable thought leadership and our commitment to equity, diversity, and inclusion, expanding our impact in the world. While we understand that this news may bring sadness to some, we hope you will also join in our excitement for new ways of becoming all we can be – with all the creativity and liveliness that change can bring – while holding onto the essence of who we are and what makes GISC special. Please be a part of making this new vision a reality with your continued support and give generously to GISC this year. Your gift of $1,000 will place you in our Founders Circle, and every unrestricted gift of $125 or more includes a GISC membership. Our members are entitled to special perks and program discounts and will receive an invitation to our Virtual Town Hall to learn more and share thoughts on our vision for GISC. We also welcome gifts directed to our Scholarship Fund, Clinical Initiatives, DEIB work, Faculty Development – or your own area of interest.

The Old Lady and the Young Lady

By Stuart Simon, LICSW, MCC • May 12, 2023
Lately, as I sit with clients, I have found myself exploring the experience of not knowing. It's notable because I have spent so much of my professional life wanting to learn and grow ...which necessarily involves knowing things. I assume we all do that. But as I said, I have been exploring "not knowing". I find I am enjoying "not knowing". Perhaps it's really the experience of not having to know. I think this is making me a better practitioner...therapist, coach, consultant. It provides me a lot of freedom. However, the road to "not knowing" has not been comfortable for me. It's too close to the experience of feeling "stupid". Perhaps turning 66 has helped. It brought to mind picture of the Old Lady and the Young Lady: 

Bringing the best of Gestalt into the world

By Laurie Fitzpatrick • December 19, 2022
Dear Friends, We at GISC are grateful for you, our donors, members, and participants, for playing such a vital role in bringing GISC’s powerful Gestalt approach to so many, “transforming the way we live and work in the world.” Our community is the heart and soul of this organization, and we thank you. GISC is better poised than ever to reach more people and to make the kind of impact so needed in the world today. We’re taking our Gestalt Leadership Development training into more organizations and creating a clinical initiative to develop and promote new offerings for psychotherapists. We’re working to become more accessible, experimenting with delivery at central in-city locations and by optimizing our online presence. And we’re actively educating ourselves as a community on issues of diversity, equity, and inclusion, to grow as an organization and be a place where everyone called to this work feels they belong. The brilliance and legacy of GISC founders Sonia March Nevis and Edwin Nevis equipped us well to bring our own solutions to the problems individuals and organizations face today, and still, we must continue to develop ourselves and prepare new generations of coaches, leaders, and practitioners. As luminaries in the Gestalt world age, retire, or, sadly, pass away, we’re reminded of the imperative to carry this legacy forward, person to person. As 2022 draws to a close, we’d like to ask for your continued help in bringing GISC’s important work into the world. Your gift will support these and other initiatives: Faculty Development – to support our faculty community and offer advanced training. Equity, Diversity, Inclusion, and Belonging – to move GISC and those we train to a place of awareness, equity, and competence for living in a diverse and multicultural world. Scholarship Fund – so we can continue to provide scholarship assistance to those who need it. Clinical Initiative – to develop new offerings for mental health professionals. Virtual Delivery – to bring our rich GISC experiences to wider audiences online. Please give today to support our work and expand our global community. You can donate online by clicking the button below or by check via mail, directing your gift to your favorite initiative or to the general fund. Again, this year, we invite you to join our Founders’ Circle with your gift of $1,000 or more. All contributions of $125 or more will entitle you to a free GISC membership for 2023.
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